Build a Beautiful Life after Cancer with Alex George

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Description

In this conversation, Alex George shares her powerful journey of surviving Ewing's sarcoma, a rare form of cancer, and the profound lessons she learned along the way. From her initial diagnosis and the challenges of navigating the medical system to the emotional toll of chemotherapy and the unexpected loss of her job during treatment, Alex's story is one of resilience, humor, and personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of finding joy in small moments, the role of family support, and the transformative power of pursuing one's passions. Ultimately, Alex encourages listeners to embrace life fully, take risks, and believe in themselves, as life is too short to wait for the 'right' moment to pursue happiness.

About Alex George

Alex is a baker, recipe developer, and content creator who is currently working on her debut cookbook! As a self-taught baker who abides by the philosophy that more is more, Alex wants to encourage people to be creative in the kitchen- go ahead and take a risk.

Alex is ecstatic to join Heather for season 1 of The Happily Never After podcast. As a cancer survivor, she knows first-hand how life can change in an instant. For Alex, those changes led her to a whole new second life.

• Follow Alex on Instagram at @lilypcrumbs

• Follow Alex on TikTok at @lilypcrumbs

• Learn more about Alex on her website at

Transcript

Heather Mcginley (00:41)

All right, everyone. My guest today is Alex George. Alex was diagnosed in her 20s with Ewing's sarcoma, which is a form of cancer. She then made national news when her job fired her in the middle of treatment. These events brought Alex to the brink of a huge ending. However, Alex survived and she talks a lot about how more is more when it comes to life after cancer. She has built a thriving

Amazing baking business, which if you're not following Lily P. Crumbs on Instagram, you are missing out because it is so cute, so joyful and I want to bake everything she makes. And she is currently working on her debut cookbook, shooting it herself as we just found out. So she's taking on all the things. Alex has a lot going on. So I'm so thankful for you to be willing to be here.

Alex (01:21)

Yeah.

Heather Mcginley (01:27)

Alex has been through so much, but the first thing you notice when you meet her is she is so friendly. She has so much kindness and her energy is just totally infectious. She says cancer gave her a chance at a whole new life. And Alex, I'm so glad to have you here.

Alex (01:41)

Heather, thank you so much. That was such a kind intro. Thank you. thank you. Thanks for having me. I'm just excited to be here and talk to you. I think talking to you about the message of this podcast, it's really beautiful. And so I'm just honored to be one of the people that gets to share my story here.

Heather Mcginley (01:45)

We're here to pump you up.

Yeah, your story is so powerful. Can you, let's start back at the beginning. Can you tell a little bit of your story, what happened in your life back in 2018?

Alex (02:09)

Sure. think when I talk about that time in my life, the most important piece is to paint the picture of where I was and what I was doing. So I was a fresh college grad. I graduated in 2017 from the University of Michigan. And I think at that time, I still look back in the early twenties and I think, my gosh, such a baby, such a baby. I can't even believe that I thought I had any knowledge of what my life would be like or where things would go. So at the time.

I believe the best path to happiness and career fulfillment would be to move directly after school to go start a career as a local news journalist. So my aspirations were always go to this city and then this city because that career makes you move around to climb the rungs of the ladder. And I remember finding a notebook a few years ago where I listed age 22, this market, age 24, this market.

age 28, so I was like every two years when I get a new contract and I can go to a new place, I'll keep jumping up the ladder and then I'll finally get to the place that I'll finally be happy. And I remember that finding that a few years ago, I thought, oh my God, if that girl had it. What would happen? would not have believed the sequence of events that were gonna occur. But anyways, I digress a little bit there. I graduated, I took just a couple days after graduation and I moved.

Heather Mcginley (03:20)

Yeah.

Haha!

Alex (03:28)

directly to my first job in Chattanooga, Tennessee, where I was a news reporter. So I got there and I was at what's called an MMJ, which is a multimedia journalist, which means you set the camera up, you walk around to the front of the camera and you say, here I am live.

Heather Mcginley (03:41)

Yeah.

Alex (03:44)

And because you do everything yourself, that means, you're trying to think, is the video right? Is the audio right? Am I in the right spot? Did I get my script right? Wait, what about, so you're trying to be a reporter, but you're also trying to do the 30 jobs of the videographer as well, but it saves money for the newscast. So that being my first news job jumping in to say that I was.

ill-prepared would be an understatement. I could not believe. I remember my second day on the job and I'm going so tangential now, but.

Heather Mcginley (04:12)

It's okay Well, it speaks to

now. I know why you and your cookbook you just signed up to do everything now all of the it's all making sense now

Alex (04:19)

Okay,

it's okay.

So just to paint the picture of what life was like on this job for the first time, that's me as a reporter. But I thought that this was the key to a successful life, was to follow the script of what I was told makes you a good reporter and how you get to that spot you wanna be in. So I was there, it was really hard, your bottom of the ladder, which means those weekend morning shifts, the 4 a.m. shifts on a Saturday morning, Sunday morning.

Heather Mcginley (04:21)

No.

Alex (04:47)

That was just me and me alone with the camera going live at a 5K that didn't start for another seven hours. And that was life. And it was really hard. And it wasn't what I thought it would be. I think I just, wanted the thriving social connection of my college years where the best friends I ever had were just, you know, doors away. And all of sudden they moved to a place where I knew nobody.

Heather Mcginley (05:09)

Yeah.

Alex (05:12)

and the girlfriends that I made at the station all worked opposite shifts. So good luck seeing somebody who works the morning shift and you work the night shift when you're only overlapping for two hours.

Heather Mcginley (05:22)

News life is so hard. have a lot of, you know, I was in entertainment television, but I had friends that came from news and the way they talked about it was it was even harder than entertainment television, which we were already pulling all nighters, but their stories from working in news were incredible. I don't know how anyone has any sort of life or makes any sort of friends in any way. It's so hard.

Alex (05:26)

Yes.

It is, it's nonstop. And I don't know if you felt this way in entertainment just because I don't know the schedule, but the call-ins were, you could always be called in. So I would be working at, right? You would be working the 4 a.m. shift on Saturday morning, but you'd get a call at 2 a.m. And it would say, you got to come in. They just had this happen. And you just had no control over life or your schedule at all. And so that's the picture of where I was at. And...

Heather Mcginley (05:51)

Yeah, I had a phone, yeah.

Alex (06:09)

to speak about what I thought I was gonna do, there was some sort of thing in my contract that said, after one year, you would be eligible to go to a different station owned by the same company. So I had a countdown on my phone. Heather, I had a countdown on my phone. It said the number of days on my home screen. Talk about not living in the moment. I was looking about every day, I was like, just this many more days, this many more days. And then I can, and that wasn't even a guarantee to get out. That was the day I could start applying to get out.

Heather Mcginley (06:22)

you were ready to go somewhere else.

Gosh.

Yeah.

Alex (06:38)

I like,

I gotta do it. And so we were just trucking along best we could. And all of a sudden, and I say it's important that I was MMJing because it helps to know that I was carrying things. You're carrying, we had JVC wedding cameras, which I don't know that will make you laugh, because that was the quality of camera we had. So, and they weren't super light and you have a big heavy tripod. And so you're moving a lot.

Heather Mcginley (06:53)

Yeah, now I know what that is.

Alex (07:01)

And when I started to feel soreness, I think I thought it must be something I'm doing with my tripod on my camera, or maybe when I was in the gym or something, I was like, it's so weird. It's in a very weird, achy spot. Not the normal way that you would recognize a pain of working out. And so I just felt it for a while and then it felt very gradual, but all of a sudden I could feel something there.

And was like, am I crazy? Now I've never had any health problems ever. Been extremely lucky in that any of the health things I've ever experienced were very much cause and effect, like running a marathon and then getting an injury or... Yeah, there was no health mysteries. Like I had no fear of the doctor I would go, but usually it was clean bill of health, get going. And I'm like, yeah, I got healthy. I don't really have any history of anything in my family. So this is the last thing on my mind.

Heather Mcginley (07:35)

like clear, like an injury happened. Yeah.

Alex (07:51)

And I just remember it getting worse and worse. The timeline on my phone is still ticking. And I'm just thinking, gosh, I really got to get this taken care of, but I work these crazy shifts, so when do I go to the doctor? And I think, isn't that the funniest thing when you become an adult and you realize, when do you make an appointment for things when you work your job? So I was like, how am I gonna fit in seeing a specialist or a doctor when I have to work these days? I can't seem to get one. So I eventually did.

Heather Mcginley (08:02)

Yeah.

Right.

Alex (08:18)

at an urgent care, they kind of were saying, you're fine, it's pretty much nothing. Maybe it's a hematoma, which is basically this bubble of blood that can form when you hit something really hard. And so I saw them twice and then they referred me to a dermatologist and the dermatologist was somebody that thought maybe it was like a lipoma. You ever watch Dr. Pimple Popper?

Heather Mcginley (08:24)

Okay.

Yes, I know what that is because of her.

Alex (08:40)

Yes,

I was like, oh, ew. I was like, oh my God, am I going to have some sort of girl? Is he going have a hair and teeth? I was like, no, what the heck? You're telling me I have a giant like, and they were like, you just need to go see her. So again, this is over the course of three to four months where I'm just trying to fit in an appointment wherever I can because I still got to work. And so I finally got to the dermatologist and they kind of come to the same conclusion as the first doctor, which is this is probably a hematoma. We're going to do a biopsy of it, though.

So when they do the biopsy, we now know that the error that was made was that it wasn't deep enough. So if you think of it like the cancer was here and there was a hematoma that formed on top of the cancer, it just biopsied this and they never.

Heather Mcginley (09:15)

Okay.

Okay, I

was wondering that because I saw you were misdiagnosed a few times and I was just wondering. That seems to happen so often. I was just curious how that happened.

Alex (09:30)

And it's one of those situations where I don't put any blame on the medical teams that had that happen because I could see how it would happen. It makes sense. They're being presented. They see so many different things and they're being presented with information that tells them it's one thing and then it's confirmed. And in a young, healthy individual, this was so rare that it would never be the first thought. And so they ended up draining that and pulling all the blood out. So it kind of went down and then times gone by that years getting closer.

I remember meeting my mom, she wanted to do a bridge run with me in Charleston. There was like a 5K or 10K there, which by the way, ever been to Charleston?

Heather Mcginley (10:08)

No, it's on my list though of places to go. I don't know if you recommend it though, I'm not sure. Oh.

Alex (10:10)

It's beautiful. No, it's beautiful, but the bridge is uphill. And I

signed up for the whole race. I was like, did you guys know this was going to be uphill? Anyways, so it was race where I was like, oh, I'm in pain. And at the end of it, I remember saying to my mom when we got back to where we were saying, I was like, I'm getting really worried about this because I think it's coming back. And my mom was, I just remember my mom saying, whatever it is.

We'll figure it out. She said, regardless, it's got to come out in some way, or form. That's going to be removed from you. I was like, OK, even from a labor.

Heather Mcginley (10:43)

Now, did you,

if I could ask, at this point, did you have any sort of, you know how sometimes our spidey senses go off when something we didn't think about and we didn't think about, then a point we're like, something's wrong here. Had that started happening for you or were you just oblivious?

Alex (10:52)

Heather.

that's such an apt question because this week that I'm talking about when I went to Charleston was the week where I just had that weird gut feeling where I thought, they shouldn't be coming back. I'm a lay person with not much medical knowledge, but something feels really wrong about the fact that this is coming back again. And I started to get that weird, you know, woo-hoo spidey sense where you think something is really wrong.

But I trust all the medical professionals in my life and I'm thinking, but maybe we just haven't figured it out yet. And so after it came back within about a month of me going to Charleston, I went back to that dermatologist and I'm a bit of a jokey person. Sometimes it's surely, I'm sure my therapist would say it's probably a mask of some sort in certain situations. But when I walked into that room with that dermatologist and she walked in and I was like, doc, guess who's back? She, her face went and

Heather Mcginley (11:42)

Yeah. Yeah.

You're like, we're

not joking, right? ⁓

Alex (11:53)

No,

and I was like, that joke didn't hit at all. But then I could just, you could just see it on her face that she, immediate concern, she said back. And I was like, yeah, I guess the hematoma came back. And she comes and she kind of touches it a little bit. And she says, I'm gonna refer you downstairs to Dr. Cochram. He's our breast oncologist. And I was like, okay, but it's not in my breast, but.

Heather Mcginley (12:07)

Yeah.

Alex (12:21)

And I'm hearing these things, but at that point, they're still a state of denial because she's saying oncologists, but the justification to me was insurance won't approve the MRI until we can say that the ultrasound didn't work, because that's how insurance goes. So she's saying, I can't get these tests approved unless I basically refer you here and they will be able to get the test approved. So I'm again, 21, 22. I've never navigated the health system alone.

Heather Mcginley (12:48)

A B.

Alex (12:48)

my incredible

So I'm a young baby adult. I've never done this. I'm in this hospital unit all by myself and I'm thinking, okay, well, they just need to refer me there to get this scan. It's just that I think it's a survival mechanism of denial. I know I'm going into an oncologist's office, but I'm just thinking they have to get the scan. And...

Heather Mcginley (13:02)

Yeah.

Alex (13:07)

We go down to that office and I remember just being so overwhelmed, being so out of my own element. I couldn't really understand how I got there, what the heck was going on. I just kept replaying her face of panic and to see somebody's true, true panic like that. know, doctors are medical professionals that can hide things very well. I think maybe I was reading into it more than I needed to be, but I just remember thinking,

Heather Mcginley (13:32)

Yeah.

Alex (13:37)

something's really wrong now. And I got to him and he said, they did the scan. He said, to me, it doesn't look like a cancer. And I was like, were we worried it looked like a cancer? And he goes, but do you mind if I call your parents? And I was like, call my parents? Why would you need to call my parents? And he said, if my 21 year old daughter came in with something like this and had this journey, I would just want to be reassured that everything's okay. And I think that was the type of doctor he was.

Heather Mcginley (13:39)

Yeah.

Alex (14:05)

And so he got on the phone with my mom and he was like, hi, I'm Dr. Cochram I'm here with your daughter. Here's the situation. Like this is what we're thinking. We're going to do another biopsy. But this is the update. And even now I think about that and I get a little choked up because...

Heather Mcginley (14:06)

Yeah.

and

Alex (14:20)

what a step above what needed to be done in that situation just to make me feel safe. ⁓ I didn't expect to feel that.

Heather Mcginley (14:29)

I'm tearing up a little bit too. I think that is like so meaningful when someone can see something really serious is going on and they care about you.

Alex (14:37)

Yeah, and he saw a really scared young girl, you know, a baby adult, if you will, and he thought, what can I do? And so I went home and I wasn't sure when the results of the biopsy would come back, but this time they did something that was called a core needle biopsy. So they went all the way in and I went back to work and I remember I got a note after

Heather Mcginley (14:56)

you

Alex (15:01)

that from the dermatologist that said, Alex is not permitted to lift more than five pounds because they were just worried about the movement of where this bump was. And the work, the place that I was at, Heather, they did not want an MMJ to not MMJ. There was not enough photographers. So they were like, hmm, well, we don't want to put you with a photographer. What if we buy you a cart so you could just move it around?

Heather Mcginley (15:09)

you

Right. Right.

I was about to ask, did they buy

you a cart?

Alex (15:26)

They bought me a cart. Now imagine all this life crisis going on and the job that you already don't want to be your own photographer. Please give me a photographer. I got the cart. And so I think there was a little bit of not an Alex is faking it.

Heather Mcginley (15:30)

you

Yeah. ⁓

Alex (15:42)

but definitely some times where the requests were not honored because no MMJ wanted to be an MMJ. So it was just constantly like ways to still get you to MMJ. And at one point I said, well, you've always said you would train me on being a producer. Maybe I can do that this week. And there was a lot of apprehension. There was actually a full blown confrontation because my schedule was changed without notice. And one of my girlfriends from across the room said, just so you know, I just heard the assignment desk change you this weekend from the shift to this shift.

Heather Mcginley (15:51)

Right.

Alex (16:10)

And I said, no way, because that's when I got the appointment. No way, they can't do that. And I remember reaching out to my boss saying, not cool, not acceptable. And then the scheduler had said, it was just a temporary switch around. And I was like, well, I've already moved that appointment. So I guess the switch around's happening.

Heather Mcginley (16:26)

Yeah, and this is very an important

appointment too. It's not like a hair appointment.

Alex (16:30)

Right.

Heather Mcginley (16:31)

Okay. So, okay. So you, you, you asked for an accommodation at work. Their accommodation was a cart. Things were starting to get a little uncomfortable at work. ⁓ and clearly they were focusing on the wrong things instead of what you were going through. which you didn't know what it was yet, but it was, you knew something was wrong.

Alex (16:40)

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, exactly. And so it was probably a week from that biopsy, maybe a little less time. And I was supposed to hear from them any time. They called and they said, can you come in tomorrow at four? And now, now I have the knowledge I didn't have then. And I feel like your face already says it. You know.

Heather Mcginley (17:05)

Well, you know

what these things, like now that we're older, we know what these things mean, but baby adults don't, but now we do.

Alex (17:10)

No,

I didn't know if they call you when the office is about to close that that's really bad news that they're, you know, trying to make sure nobody else in the office is around. I was like, that's actually gonna work better. Cause I'll be coming off a certain shift. Sure. I'll come in at four. And so they let me do a producer training that day. So I was in the station and it was one of those days where the universe is doing something because those same girlfriends I said we could never get on the same schedule to hang out because I got to be producer training. We made plans that night.

And in where I was in Tennessee, there weren't too many places that we were like, we could go out to eat. I was like, we got to go to Chili's. Heck yeah. We're all going to Chili's. I'll meet you guys there. I just have this appointment. I'll see you there. And I was so excited to hang with these girlfriends because I never get to see them. And so I went over to the doctor's office for the appointment. And when I came in and the parking lot was empty, that's when I hit. And I was like, the parking lot's empty. It's not very busy.

Heather Mcginley (17:49)

I used to work at Chili.

Alex (18:06)

And then was sitting in the waiting room and I realized I'm the only one in this waiting room and I'm in an oncology office and it just hit and I started sobbing in the waiting room and the receptionist behind the desk came and she sat with me and gave me a box of tissues. And I remember her saying, I don't even know what's going on just because I'm here. It doesn't mean there's something bad. I just wanted to sit with you. And I said, okay. And then we went in the back and it was the doctor and the nurse.

and I was alone in that room and he said, can you call your parents? And I was like, okay, sure. While you talked to me and he said, yes. And so I called my parents and I put them on speakerphone and he said the biopsy came back and it's something called a Ewing sarcoma and the treatment for this is chemotherapy. And I said, so it's cancer. He said, yes, this is a form of cancer. And I just remember hearing my parents through the phone.

And I think that that was one of the hardest parts of that situation because you're processing and it feels so surreal. But then you also hear your parents processing and their reaction and their wails to finding out that their 21 year old daughter was just diagnosed with cancer. And from there, I think I just fully disassociated. And I think I turned to mom and dad, you know, it's okay.

We've never done chemo. We can do chemo. Fun. And I remember turning straight into joke mode and the doctor afterwards, he's, are you good? I don't know. I haven't really thought about it yet.

Heather Mcginley (19:31)

Yeah.

That is so common though. The things I've been through in my life are different from what you went through, but my siblings and I make a joke. We can make a joke about anything. And when I was older, I did realize that in like the toughest times, it's like a way to check out a little bit. Do you feel like, how do you feel about it now? Cause I can see how it would be so kind and supportive to have your parents there. Was it?

Alex (19:43)

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Heather Mcginley (20:00)

detrimental though, because sometimes in those circumstances when you're the one it's happening to and then you kind of, and I can also see if you're a daughter that cares about your parents, you kind of turn to taking care of them when it's happening to you. Do you think that was in retrospect bad for you that it went down that way or how do you feel?

Alex (20:04)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

For me personally, I had the most trouble relaying it to people after. So in retrospect, I'm thankful they were on the other side because calling them to tell them without the other people in the room and the support probably would have been even harder. And so to me, it was a service that the doctor did for me because...

Heather Mcginley (20:34)

Yeah.

Alex (20:40)

I wouldn't have had the knowledge to answer their questions. I would have been just as overwhelmed, just as confused relaying it to them hours later. And so the privilege he gave me by making sure that we were all there, just as we would have been if I didn't live far away, they would have come with me. He was able to then answer their questions while I could zone out. And I could just, and it's funny because I think every person would feel differently about that, especially dependent upon the relationship with family and who's on the other side of the phone.

Heather Mcginley (20:59)

Yeah.

Alex (21:07)

with my family and with my life, I was happy because, you know, my parents are pretty badass. Like they clicked into, they were sad, they were upset. And then my mom clicked into what I will only call like superhero mom mode. She said, what's next? Okay. What's next? Okay. And within three hours, she was on a plane. She drove right to the airport. And what I didn't know is that, I'm going to collect myself.

She had her own spidey sense the whole time. And because she's such a good mom, she never let me know that. And the whole time I kept thinking like, my mom just doesn't get it. This is really concerning. And what I didn't know is that she was protecting me from her fears. So our close family friends who work in medicine, she kind of looped them in and she said, this is what's going on with Alex. What do you think? And they just told her she needs an appointment at four. And this is my best friend's mom. And they said, just be ready.

Just be ready for what you hear, ready to go. We'll be on standby. We don't know what's happening. Could be nothing, could be something. And they, when I say they were on standby, they were quite literally waiting for my mom to call and they drove her to the airport. So as soon as that call came in and my mom hung up the phone, she called them. They got her to the Philadelphia airport and she was at me within six hours. And so that night she flew in at three o'clock in the morning just to be there with me.

Heather Mcginley (22:24)

That's awesome.

Alex (22:29)

And so I'm thankful that the doctor did that because I think sometimes it's so hard to ask for help or to know what kind of help you needed. And in that situation, the characters around me, they provided it for me when I couldn't think. And when I was like just fully disassociating, all of these other players just made it work. after that, another, there's so many insane stories along the way of.

Heather Mcginley (22:44)

Yeah.

Alex (22:55)

when this happened of people exhibiting such goodness and such humanity that I still think back and I'm like, how lucky am I that these people extended such grace to me? So the nurse afterwards, and I won't name her because I think she could get in trouble for this, ⁓ since I drove myself to the hospital and I was all alone in that room, she drove me home. She said, I'll drive your car.

Heather Mcginley (23:13)

Hahaha!

Alex (23:21)

She drove my car and her husband picked her up from the grocery store across from my house. And I was shaking the whole ride home and she held my hand the whole ride home driving my car. She said, please don't tell anybody. I think I could get an electrical for this. And I was like, I can't tell anybody. And she just said, I don't want you to be alone. And it was the kindness of all of these strangers, just recognizing the objective trauma and sadness of the situation that just, they just took care of me.

And there was no reason they had to, but they did. And so I think back on times like that in my story and I think just humans are so good sometimes, you know?

Heather Mcginley (23:58)

Yeah, when you hear so many stories, I mean, there is so much bad, especially right now in the world, there is so much to be sad about right now. And you're so right. Like when I think back over my life, the times when someone has taken the time to show pure kindness to me, it made such, like even so simple. It's not like the day you think big, just like saying, I see you, are you okay?

Alex (24:05)

Yeah.

Heather Mcginley (24:22)

like caring about me in those moments, it leaves such a big impact. And it's a good reminder to me, like now, I try to give that to other people too, because it really does make such a difference. And that it's so wonderful that your team, your doctor and your nurse and your mom got on a plane. And it makes me so thankful and I'm so happy for you. And it also makes me think too about the people that don't have that, you know, like the flip side of that. Oh, that's a lot.

Alex (24:44)

Yeah. Yeah.

Heather, I did not expect to be such a mess. I'm so sorry. I can't believe I'm crying so much.

Heather Mcginley (24:51)

No, I'm crying too.

So if anyone's watching this, you're gonna see me and Alex, both of us have runny nose and our makeup's getting a little smear.

Alex (24:57)

Are we getting a fish now?

expect to feel all those emotions come up talking about this. So I'm hoping I can pull myself together a little bit more as we did you on.

Heather Mcginley (25:06)

No, all good. yeah. Well,

why don't we go to something that I think is also on topic. We kind of hit it a little bit earlier. Now I read that you and your family worked really hard to be able to laugh at times during your treatment, because you did go through chemo. What role did that ability to laugh and create those little breaks? What role did that play?

Alex (25:09)

to

Yes.

Heather Mcginley (25:27)

and you going through chemo in this really hard time, how did that help

Alex (25:30)

Yes.

I think that's everything. I think when the times are so objectively awful and there's nothing that you can do to improve the situation, then the only thing you kind of have any sort of control over is yourself and the way that you handle it. And that's not to say that I was always laughing or always having fun, but their encouragement of me to be goofy or be myself helped.

it helped just not make the day worse. And whether that means like just the Halloween costume where I dressed as Pitbull or my dad making me look like Charlie Brown. I think having a family that was able to sort of try to cheer you up and especially being able to be receptive to it at the time, it makes the experience just a little bit easier because you're all feeling the same existential dread. And I don't think that they would ever say, you know, that it was exactly the same for all of us, but you go through it together.

because I moved back to Philadelphia to be here. The doctor even said, this is such a rare cancer that even if you weren't from Philly, I would recommend that you get treated there. So I said, say no more, I gotta get out of here. And then, yeah, so being here with them, it made it that much easier. I couldn't imagine doing it without them and laughing and being able to joke with them. That's what got me through. Sometimes I see videos on my phone of my dad joking around with me or just...

Heather Mcginley (26:38)

Yeah.

Alex (26:53)

the funny things of the time and they're so ridiculous and they're so bittersweet and slightly sad, but they're still funny. Yeah, it was important to have a family that could kind of embrace that with me.

Heather Mcginley (27:00)

Yeah.

Well, and I, this is actually very on topic for what I've been thinking about lately. I have really been thinking about how finding the tiniest moments of joy when you're going through a hard time can be its own medicine. That it's really important, because otherwise, because it keeps you from going down the spiral. Because I think you can get so overwhelmed when you're dealing with something that is crushing. I think you really have to do anything you can to avoid getting pulled all the way down to the bottom.

Alex (27:13)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Heather Mcginley (27:32)

You need those little moments of joy, even if it's as simple as like a good cup of coffee, a little bit of a like walk outside, feel the sun, go back at like it could be the tiny tiniest things. It doesn't have to be something big. It gives your brain a break. It gives your heart a break and it keeps you from going into that spiral, which once you go down there, it just like it's like it makes something that is already so hard. It makes it even worse because then you've succumbed to despair.

Alex (27:32)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Heather Mcginley (27:55)

You know, there's a difference between like feeling your feelings, but also just trying to have some sort of connection to reality in some small way, just to keep the life where I'm going.

Alex (28:05)

No, I agree. think a lot of times those desperate situations can be so all consuming and it's so hard to have that thought of something that is a light in your life because it doesn't feel, know, nothing feels like a light when it feels like everything around you is disastrous and chaotic and sad. It's hard to find those moments. And I think just a little bit of knowing that my family was sort of looking to me.

And kind of I gauge to the mood for the day, I'm sure. You know, how's Alex today could determine the day. And personally, and I don't think this goes for every situation. It actually helps sometimes to want to be OK for them personally, because sort of like a fake it till you make it. And I'm not saying that works in every situation because I don't think it does. And there's been plenty other situations in my life where that doesn't work at all. But for me, being like, OK, I'm going to try and be really positive today or I'm going to try and do this kind of.

convinced myself that I could be, but they gave me space to have days where I wasn't. That was also a blessing. A day where I just wanted to cry about the situation, they let me, you know? And it was a very safe space to feel all of those things, which I think is another blessing.

Heather Mcginley (29:16)

Now for people who may not be familiar, can you talk about what going through chemo is like?

Alex (29:22)

Oof. So again, I'd never had any medical issues and I really was not close to anybody who had been through this experience. And the type of cancer I had had a very strict chemo regimen and some really, all chemo is caustic, but some really hard to handle drugs, which all chemo is. But I remember the oncologist saying to me, this will be tough.

This is gonna be really tough. It's not like, you're gonna come in here and just do this and la da da da. He said everybody handles those side effects differently. But from what we've seen, this regimen in particular.

is pretty taxing. And they also explain that it's cumulative. So you might start in your first chemo, might feel okay, second, but then your third, fourth, fifth, you're starting to get worse and worse. And it's beating down your body as much as it can. So for me, what happened was I had, of course, I say of course, because why the heck not, an allergic reaction after my first chemo.

So many cancer survivors know that you put in what's called a port and that pretty much allows, and a lot of other chronic illness people know too, it allows the drugs to get into your veins as fast as possible. And because chemo is so caustic to your veins, you can't really put it in like a normal IV just because then it would burn the vein.

and you wouldn't be able to ever use the vein again. And I'm using the word burn loosely, but it would make it that the vein is unusable. So I woke up from the first surgery where they put that in and I immediately felt not good.

and I was immediately vomiting and they thought maybe it was anxiety from being, I was gonna go from that surgery, you get semi put under, they put it in, you go over to the chemo suite and do the chemo. So I was already throwing up when I started chemo and I thought, this is a recipe for disaster. And I went over, we started the chemo, I felt like my throat was closing up and I'd never experienced anything like that before. And so they had to stop something and then start it again. Long story short, after the first chemo, I could not stop throwing up to the point that I had to be rushed to the hospital.

because it was, I was just, because there's nothing left to give. And so I was rushed to the emergency room. They couldn't really figure out exactly what the situation was. They decided that from then on, I would do my chemo's inpatient, just because I needed to be monitored. So I essentially lived at the hospital from the time of my second chemo to my last chemo almost a year later, just because they figured.

Heather Mcginley (31:19)

Yeah.

⁓ my god, Alex.

Alex (31:42)

have to monitor you. And so the schedule

Heather Mcginley (31:44)

Yeah.

Alex (31:44)

was, because your question was, what is the chemo like? It's a schedule of maybe three days on, X amount of days off, and with mine, five days on. So I got one drug schedule for about three days, a little bit of time off, next drug schedule for five days. And the changes there are what the drug is. So these two drugs go on this day, these three on that day, I five total. And the time in between is supposed to let your body kind of recuperate enough

Heather Mcginley (31:47)

Yeah.

Alex (32:10)

And this is very simplified, that they can beat you down again. So they need your white blood cells to come back up. So that way they can give you more drugs. Now, of course, me personally, my body didn't want to bring those white blood cells up that fast because the beating was too tough. So we had to extend the chemo's, which meant I would get more time off in between so I could rise back up and then get beat down again. But then, of course, what happens is you don't automatically feel incredible in those extra three days. You're just still like this and you got to go back again. So.

Heather Mcginley (32:13)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Alex (32:40)

After all of that, ended, Heather, I'm like, this is not good. There's a good ending. In the meantime, I kept spiking neutropenic fever, which is basically when your body thinks there's an infection and they need to do cultures to find out, do you have an infection? Because to a cancer patient with no immune system, an infection is awful. So I kept having to get rushed even in those days that I was not impatient back to the ER.

Heather Mcginley (32:44)

Alex, everyone, there's a good ending here. I'm just gonna put that in the good ending. This is a big contrast.

Yeah.

Alex (33:09)

Long story short, then they started bringing a home nurse to be able to give me fluids and things at home to hopefully stop the neutropenic fever from spiking, because I couldn't drink water because the chemo had burned the inside of my throat so badly. So I wasn't able to get hydrated. And the hydration was kind of key to making sure I wasn't spiking those fevers. And that was another situation where, you home nurses came, but they tasked my dad with one of the things of flushing the port.

Heather Mcginley (33:16)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alex (33:33)

And so it turns your whole family into a family that's never had any medical experience. Next thing you know, I've got my dad giving me one shot and trying to flush my port. He's a lawyer. He's like, okay, I'm gonna try and figure this out. How does this work? So yeah, was chemo stinks. I will not say that it was a good experience. I would never wish it on anyone. My specific chemo schedule was truly awful and my body's reaction to it was not good. So I spent almost a year in the hospital and...

Heather Mcginley (33:39)

Yeah.

Alex (33:59)

That was incredibly difficult. And even though the staff and the nurses were truly amazing, they would come in and they would watch, I was watching all of Game of Thrones. They would sit and watch it with me. They would hang out with me and a lot of them were around my age. So it was terrible, but we did the best that we could. I think, you you feel sick all the time. You don't recognize yourself, especially coming from

Heather Mcginley (34:11)

You went for some light fare, didn't you?

Alex (34:27)

that career where the way that you get better at being a news reporter is to watch yourself as a news reporter and say, how was my cadence? How was my delivery? So I'm used to seeing me. And next thing I know, everything that I recognized as me was gone. I don't look anything like myself. I don't feel like myself. I don't look like myself. My world was just totally turned upside down. And so chemo stinks. I won't pretend like it doesn't.

I think the best way that I got through it was truly just getting through it. My mom would always say one day at a time. And that's pretty much the only advice that I could give for it because I think too many times there's a little sugar coating and it, you can't sugar coat it. You're doing something so awful to your body to help get something else awful out of your body and it hurts and it's painful. There's bone pain. You feel sick. At least for me, people have different side effects, but for me,

I've never felt anything like that before. They ended up having to try an experimental anti-nausea drug on me just to get me to stop vomiting. Yeah, so in summary, I'd say chemo, zero out of 10. And I hope I never have to experience it again. We got through it the last time, but yes, terrible. Don't recommend.

Heather Mcginley (35:35)

Do not.

Well, and while you're going through all of this, on top of it, and you made national news for it, you were fired. While you're going through this, meaning you lost your health insurance. Can you just talk a little, I don't think we can skip this part. So maybe talk a little bit about that and then y'all we're gonna get to the happy part and it is really happy.

Alex (35:50)

Yeah.

No.

Yeah, of

course, just of course. As I was going through treatment, I was on disability and I was still under contract with my original employer. So of course I have their insurance. And obviously insurance in this situation is beyond necessary. The chemo's add up to millions of dollars. And I remember seeing that breakdown and thinking, my God, this would bankrupt you. You need this. And...

The irony of it all, Heather, which I mentioned in the beginning was that that countdown on my phone, I don't know if I mentioned this, I was diagnosed three days before that countdown ended. So I ended up leaving Chattanooga exactly when I thought I would when that countdown ended, but for a much, much different reason than I ever could have predicted. So that was not lost on me at all. I thought, well, that was a weird, that's weird. ⁓

Heather Mcginley (36:45)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Alex (36:52)

So I was supposed to be employed by them until May of the next year, May of 2019. My dates are a little flunky in my head. Then when my disability was up, they technically, you would go on from FMLA to long-term, et cetera. They scheduled a phone call. And I remember my dad saying, they're gonna fire you. And I thought, why would they fire me? Obviously I can't be there reporting for the job, but I have a contract and...

Heather Mcginley (36:59)

Yeah, right around there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Alex (37:19)

they would just never do that. And when I announced on air that I would be gone, the amount of support that the station gave that everyone around me gave, I just thought that would never do that. Why would they do that? And I was like, that's, And we got on the phone.

Heather Mcginley (37:31)

Yeah, you're fighting for your life and like

there's no yeah like why would they do that?

Alex (37:37)

Right. I just was like, there's just simply no way. And we got on the phone and it was the HR manager from the station and it was corporate and it was the news director. And it was basically like, know, Alex, are no longer, and I hope I get the verbiage right, we are no longer legally obligated to employ you. And as such, we will be terminating your employment.

And that does include I believe we asked to follow up does that include health insurance? They said yes that includes health insurance So your coverage will be ending effective immediately with your employment So it will probably extend to I think it was to Friday and I said but I have I've got chemo on Monday and she said well you can figure out how to Cobra your insurance and That that should hopefully help and I just remember thinking

At first I thought this is, and I've said this before, this is a death sentence. To take away insurance and the life-saving capabilities of medicine and make them so incredibly unaffordable, it would have buried me. And my parents immediately helped me get onto COBRA. COBRA was several, hundred dollars a month. And the payment from disability doesn't even cover COBRA. So if I had not been lucky enough,

to have a family that could house me and support me, that made it an unaffordable treatment plan. You would not have been able to afford that COBRA plan and rent, food, water, even the medications that are covered out of pocket, because there are many in a special mouthwash that numbs your throat so I could finally get water down, not covered by insurance. The shot that they would give me to bring my white cells back up.

Heather Mcginley (39:07)

Yeah.

Alex (39:17)

only partially covered. so disability payment itself after my firing would not have covered those things, let alone rent, let alone groceries. So that came out and I was no longer listed on the station website and people were asking me about it. And then I went on Twitter and I remember calling my news agent at the time and I said, can I say anything? She's like, you don't want to sort of blacklist yourself from the industry. And I was like, I know, but it's not fair. People think I left. I didn't do this. I'm over here.

Heather Mcginley (39:24)

Yeah, right.

Right, right.

Alex (39:46)

No. And so I just tweeted and I said, hi all. Just wanted you to know this was not my decision. This was, I believe I tagged them at Sinclair's decision. I'm still doing treatment. Why you all don't know it's going well. Blah, blah, blah. And from there, the tweet sort of exploded in the news world. I remember certain news players retweeting it and commenting on it. How callous can you be as a company? I can't believe this. And then I went to the front page of Reddit.

And people, the article from the Chattanoogan said, young reporter fired by this station amidst cancer battle. And so many people were saying in the comments, this happened to me. This happened to my mom. This happened to my uncle. And it was just the kind of thing where I thought, this happens all the time. And I had no idea that this was something that was even allowed. And it's been happening to so many people.

And it was the kind of thing that it felt like the whole world came crashing down because I was like, all these things you're already going through and could you get nailed again? How could it get, I'm like, no way, you know?

Heather Mcginley (40:49)

How

much more can they pile on to your plate?

Alex (40:51)

Right,

exactly. That's how I felt. And at the same time, I felt such gratitude for being so damn lucky to be able to not be then buried in the weight of it all. And in the true minutia of how the heck am I going to pay my rent? Because I could move in with my parents, a privilege that not everybody has. And so I just thought this to anybody else, this would have been a death sentence. And so there's just an extreme amount of gratitude for the situation that I was dealt at that time.

And you can still feel all those things. Like, I can't believe the betrayal. I cannot believe they would do this to me. And I could still feel the, how lucky am I? And then the director of the news organization resigned because he knew, and he knew that it was wrong. And he reached out to me later and said that he asked them not to do that and that he rallied for me, but corporate said no. And they said, it's just too much of an expense.

Heather Mcginley (41:28)

Yeah.

Alex (41:49)

And so that's why they let me go. And it's crazy to think about, but they did. I continued to COBRA and so I was able to finish my treatment. And I know that a lot of people that I worked with there no longer work there. And I think it was a huge testament to the humanity of it all when the person in charge of that said, I can't even be a part of this and they left.

Heather Mcginley (42:08)

Yeah,

well, and it does open up that big conversation because you're right. Even though your story made national news, it happens every day to so many people. And you know, and I'm sad to say you are not special in that way that that kind of thing happens to so, so many people.

Alex (42:16)

Mm-hmm.

It does. And that's a hard realization, I think, in trauma, right? Is there's something beautiful in understanding you're not alone in your experience and that these original experiences aren't always original. But there's also something that's really sad to know. So something this awful happens all the time, all the time. And what can be done to make this stop? What is to be done?

And I think the fact that my story had reach was great because I think it let people know that this is something that can happen, but it doesn't change that it still does, and that's tough.

Heather Mcginley (42:59)

Who got me crying? We're just gonna take turns. All right, we're gonna get to the happy part before we move on though, yeah, that was a big realization for me too because I think over the years, you I left fundamentalist religion and it had a big impact on my life. We haven't talked about this too much, but I have 21 siblings, very fundamentalist upbringing that was really damaging. There's a lot of trauma there that we're not gonna go into right now because this is your story.

Alex (43:00)

Thank

Yeah.

I'll wait for that episode.

Heather Mcginley (43:25)

Yes, that's coming at the end. But I remember it was a big deal to me. I read the book Educated, who had a woman with an upbringing that was adjacent to mine. And you start talking about your stories. And Alex and I talked about this before we started recording. The importance of sharing your story is that it gives other people hope that there is a way home. There is a way to find your way home. And that's why it's important to share these.

really big things that happen in our lives, because it gives other people hope. It helps them know they're not alone. It gives them some optimism, that little moment of joy, that little bit of a spark that you can keep going. It holds you, gets you out of the death spiral and walking towards a good life, which is, which can be possible. I think Alex, you and I are both very realistic that it doesn't work out for everyone. Things do not always have a happy ending, but if you can't, if you are able to put something together after something big happens.

That is such a gift and I think you appreciate it so much. When you have almost lost your life in one way, or fashion, the ability to go on, I think there is just so much thankfulness and gratitude for that gift.

Alex (44:29)

Yeah, I completely agree. think one thing that all of it has given me in terms of perspective is just, it's not the sort of cliche, you never know what people are going through. It's not necessarily that, which I hope we all have innately anyway, but it's just more everybody's story comes with some sort of grief, loss, trauma in this way. And we've all had our version of that big life-changing event.

whether it be something in my situation like a disease or sickness or the trauma that you're talking about in upbringing and then later in life, I just think it's so pervasive in us as humans. And the only thing that I think helps you get through it is knowing people have gotten through it. And this is life, it's life. And I think those are...

The hopeful moments, like you said, when I looked at people who survived it and I thought, look at them. They did it. I read books by people who had the exact same kind of cancer that I did or people on their cancer journeys and things were so mirrored. I was like, man, is this an original experience? But also look what they went to do. Look at their life after. And by the point that I was at my journey that I finally realized, my God, I'm gonna get to live a life after. That's when I started looking forward. In the beginning, like you said, when it's messy, you know,

I had trouble looking forward because I said, that's not guaranteed. I don't want to fantasize about life after and how good it's going to be if I don't know if I'm going to live. And so I think, like you've said, it's not all sunshine and roses. All those days where I thought, am I going to live? I don't know. Is 21 it for me? 22? That stinks. And so I just think it is other people's and the fact that people have gone through it.

Heather Mcginley (45:56)

Yeah.

Alex (46:15)

that lets you know it's possible. And those carried me through. I remember reading the same book over and over again of somebody that had my kind of cancer and thinking about how they navigated it. And yeah, I'm thankful that people had the courage to talk about those things. Because that's when you know you're not really alone in it. Those deep feelings that you don't really want to admit. I remember days where I didn't want to do chemo anymore. I was in so much pain.

And I didn't want to say that to anybody. I couldn't say that to my family as much as they could be it, receptive and beautiful. How do you really say to them, I want to stop this? Because it's more painful now. And I can imagine that I would be happier if I stopped and life stopped now, because it hurts so badly. But reading other people's gave me hope that I just had to get through it and there was another side. So I think you're right.

Heather Mcginley (46:50)

Yeah.

Now, did you have a moment where, and I may say this wrong, so I would love for you to correct me. Was there a moment when you knew it was over? Like, was there a moment when they said you are done with chemo, you're gonna be okay? Did that happen for you?

Alex (47:17)

Yeah.

Yes, totally. There were two big moments. And the first was when, so strange and a little weird because we're talking about Dr. Pimple Popper, but I could feel the cancer shrinking because mine manifested itself, which I didn't say earlier, it's a bone cancer, but mine was in the soft tissue. So I could feel it. And I could feel it getting smaller after chemo. And I was like, okay, think this is a good sign. We have to do scans intermittently to check.

Heather Mcginley (47:29)

But yes, she's been helpful today.

Alex (47:46)

but I was like, it's definitely looking smaller. I remember sort of like when you try on a new outfit and you're like, what do you guys think? I remember coming down and being what do you guys think? Is that smaller? What do you, everyone's like, yep, it's definitely working, babe. My dad's like, yeah, you got it.

Heather Mcginley (47:57)

Like, are you saying this because

I'm fighting for my life or is it really smaller?

Alex (48:01)

was like, are you

guys lying? And so I remember after the first three chemo's, like, or maybe it was four, was midway through, you do a scan and they said, it's shrinking. It's really, really shrinking in size. You know, the radiologist puts the number, almost like a map where you want to scale and I could see what it was and what it is. I was like, it's working. It's really working. But then what happened is I did half my chemo, I had surgery and to finish the rest. And so after surgery, they told me,

Technically, when you finish surgery, you will be cancer-free. Now the way that this works in medicine is that you have to finish the chemo regimen. Sort of like when you have a sinus infection and they make you take the whole pack of medication, you can't just stop even though you feel better. They were like, the research is on X amount of chemos. So you cannot do less because we're trying to ensure that doesn't come back. Just do it all. And I was like, but you said I'm done. You said I'm cancer-free after surgery. And so I still had more to go, but it was after that surgery that I wheeled out and I was like cancer-free.

And I remember my family sitting in there, my brother brought donuts, my dad was feeding me a donut and I was drinking through a straw and I was like, hey, all hopped up on the medication from being under general anesthesia. Hey, cancer free. And they were like, awesome. And then I was like, I'll probably be happier about it when I'm more awake. But yeah, that was such a happy moment for me. And then I remember coming in for the official scans after my mom and I walking out and just the feeling of the hug after getting that news was just, I mean, it's euphoric. And I think...

Yeah, it was such a beautiful, happy moment, just knowing that the journey was going to end, because it wasn't even over. But it was like, at least now when I say get through the day, I can start to fantasize. I can think about what will life be like after this? What do I want to do? What's going on? I finally felt like, okay, now I can start to think. Because getting through that trauma day to day, like I said, just get through the day, get through the day.

And then finally I was like, now I get to get through more days and more life and more meets. Yeah, and that was so, so beautiful and so great. So yeah, I remember that day very vividly. But yeah.

Heather Mcginley (49:58)

Yeah, you get to think about tomorrow.

Now, your life now, you started a small business about baking and it is, I love your Instagram account. Now you're baking as an adult, started when you were undergoing chemo. What pushed you to turn it into a business?

Alex (50:15)

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm, I think you know the pandemic happened and I had just finished chemo So I was just growing out a little bit of hair. I was just feeling like I was ready to leave the house I was like, okay, it's a little pixie cut my eyebrows are back my eyelashes are back and then the world said hey By the way, nobody can leave the house here and I was like I've been quarantining for two years Please know and so I was like no way I'm housebound. I've been housebound for three years and

Heather Mcginley (50:38)

in there.

Alex (50:46)

When that was happening, I had just secured a job freelancing for a TV station in Philadelphia. So they were like, well, actually you're an essential worker. So you are gonna be out and about, but interviewing people with a six foot pole. So like, what a weird time in my life. But it wasn't enough shifts to be full time. It was the kind of thing I took on because I thought I'm just trying to get back to working. And the toll that chemo takes and being almost bedridden for that long takes, was a...

out of breath, getting up a flight of stairs. Once I finished chemo, I would just practice in my parents' house going up and down the stairs. I was like, okay, we got down one, I came down, was like four times today, up and down, everybody, careful, because I'm feeling pretty good about myself. So I was just trying to get back to being human. And then baking was still that place for me that I found so much joy and love, which I didn't talk about, but in treatment when I could stand and I could do things, baking was so accessible.

because I could kind of use my brain to think about it creatively. And then I had other hands and help in the kitchen if I was like, let's try it this way. And they were always just helping me do the project of the day. So let's say I had one day where I was like, I wanna know what the best pie crust is. So I'm gonna make 17 pies. My parents are like, okay, go ahead, make 17 pies. And I was like, this one is one to one ratio with just vodka and water. This one's like this.

And that gave me such an outlet and a fun little experiment to do. And that's when I started cooking with cancer, the Instagram where I would share these experiments. And so that's always been a part of me. I baked since I was a kid, but then it gave me more time. was like, all I do is I get sick. I go to the hospital and I bake. It's just a cycle. I get the drugs, I bake, I get sick, blah, blah, And so I was finding that it was such a place of joy for me.

Heather Mcginley (52:11)

Mm-hmm.

Alex (52:34)

And I used to sell when I was really, really little, but it was a nonprofit because Philadelphia shelters don't let you give food directly most of the time because of allergies. Understandable. I would sell to people and then take the profits and go to some of the shelters in Philly. So I've never just sold for the sake of actually having a business model. And I still wasn't good at that, but I was like, you know, why not? Let's just see if people want to buy cookies because I'm sharing them and maybe it could be fun. And then I started working,

Heather Mcginley (52:43)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Alex (53:01)

there was a local ice cream place that was looking for somebody to be their in-house baker. And I was like, well, I'm freelancing, but only one or two days a week, so I can try this. So I started baking more and then I started doing cookie drops and people around the city would buy my cookies. And I was just getting so much joy from it. You have to pull all-nighters. Like in a home kitchen, when you're baking for that scale, I was like, this actually, it's a lot of work, but it was fun. And then it turned from a business in person

Heather Mcginley (53:18)

you

Alex (53:28)

into an online business just by making one video and taking a chance. But before that, I remember saying to one of my girlfriends that I was borderline jealous of people who got to bake online. I was like, how fun is that? There's all these people that love what they're baking and like want to bake it too. And they built such a community. And I was like, guess that would probably be like my dream job. And I remember one of my girlfriends who's my best friend to this day. was like, then you should make a video. I was like, no, I can't make a video. I don't, that's so weird. And I don't want anybody to think I'm.

Heather Mcginley (53:52)

Yeah.

Alex (53:57)

And was like, that's the silliest thing you've ever said. And so I was like, okay, maybe I'll just mess around with it. And I think like anybody into a new hobby, you you do a little, you make a random video and you're like, I don't know, we'll see. And then I just thought, what if I try a little harder and see what happens? And there's no part of me that ever imagined a world in which it worked, but it was just the kind of thing that I thought this would bring me joy. And I know that it would bring me joy because I had the conscious thought that would be fun. And in life,

I think so many times we're just inhibited by this has to be my path because of all of these external factors. I have to use my degree. I have to make a certain amount of money. I have to follow the path of what's expected to me. And I think it was just something that I thought after treatment that I didn't want to do stuff just because I had to anymore. I think looking back at that list I found where I wrote, you're going to be at this market at this age and this market at this age. I thought about that and I was like,

I'm in the market I want it to be at, but because I'm a freelancer who just finished cancer treatment and it's a wonderful opportunity, but I don't want to be a news reporter anymore. And it's not going to bring me the joy that I get when I bake. And I just was really thinking, what do I want life to be like now? Because I get a whole redo on all of these things. And so I made a video and I didn't think that it would turn into my career completely. There's always that little hope in you.

Heather Mcginley (54:57)

Yeah.

Alex (55:25)

And the video started to do well. And then I started the mission to make every chocolate chip cookie on the internet and it started going really, well. I was like, okay, it's kind of going really well. And I was still freelancing and it was just something that brought me a lot of joy. Like true, true. my God, this is so fun. And so I kept doing it and kept doing it. And other things in my life were changing, but that was the constant. So then I stopped freelancing and I ended up getting a master's degree in digital media.

Heather Mcginley (55:30)

I saw that.

Alex (55:52)

And I was like, want to learn how this works on a bigger scale. And you know, how do I make this something bigger? And then after that, I just kept baking and kept baking. And then I decided I was going to go as all in as I could and built the blog and built more. And then soon after that, I got the opportunity for a cookbook, which is so, it's so crazy to think because thank you.

Heather Mcginley (56:18)

That's amazing.

Alex (56:21)

I just, it is such a pipe dream to the point that I can't even believe it's really happening. And even in this conversation, in the stress of it all, I'm so happy we're talking, because I'm like, yeah, it's just so freaking cool. And to be honest, like we were saying earlier, if all of the worst parts of my life had never happened, none of the best parts would have. They wouldn't have. I would have kept on being a news reporter on the same path that I was on.

Heather Mcginley (56:34)

Yeah.

Alex (56:47)

And I probably would not have followed my truest passion because I didn't realize sort of the brevity of life and how precious and sacred it is and how important it is to just do what makes you happy. And so, yeah, I would say in that way, I'm not thankful. I would never be like, thank goodness it happened, but I'm thankful for the person it allowed me to become and the life that it's allowed me to live, I guess.

Heather Mcginley (57:06)

Yeah.

Alex (57:15)

So yeah.

Heather Mcginley (57:15)

Well, and

I want to share too with our listeners, there's a quote that you shared related to this that I thought was really powerful. You said, I'll never say I'm thankful for cancer, but it did open my eyes to how damn short life is and how little time you have to do exactly what you want to be doing. I'd rather be living this life than the life I was probably going to choose before my diagnosis. Going off of that, what would you say is one of the biggest lessons you have after walking through cancer?

Alex (57:20)

Okay.

Hmm.

I think it's so cliche, but sort of you just never know what's coming next. So stop putting off the life you want to live. I think we always tell ourselves if we achieve a certain level, then we can maybe try that passion project or maybe that's just a side hobby or I don't really know if I could live a life in that field or in this way. And I think...

I'm gonna echo exactly what I said before, is because life is so short, you don't really have the time to waste. And I do feel the duality of life is both short and long and you can reinvent yourself at any point in time and try new things. I feel that, I know both of those things can be true. It's both so short and so long. But I just think that putting off the things that you feel in your heart will really bring you joy is what we have to stop doing. Because if you have that feeling that you'd like to do it,

then I think you should try it. And it might not look exactly how you thought it was gonna look. It might not be that you start something you thought would bring you joy and it looks exactly the way it did, that it's in the exact city it's in, and it's built the way you wanted it to look. But a step towards something that brings you happiness is a step worth taking. And I just think that those baby steps are everything.

They get you just a little closer because you never know where they will lead. I did not know what making one video would lead to and the next video and the next video or saying yes to an email about potentially writing a cookbook. And then all of a sudden it's really happening. But none of these things would have happened if I didn't start selling a cookie after treatment. And I didn't say yes to working at a ice cream shop. And I didn't say yes to.

offering my cookies to people for free in line while they waited for said ice cream so people could get my name out there, and sharing with other people the truth of the situation, which is I bake all the time and I don't even know what a good cookie recipe is. I'm trying to find one. And I think being true to things you want, being true to yourself, I just think that's where the joy came from in my life. And when I think of life before, it's what I was missing because I didn't really want to be hopping all around the country as a news reporter.

I don't think in my heart of hearts I really wanted it. I thought that that was the right thing to do. But I guess, and this is such a long-winded answer to your question about advice, it's just really think about what you want. And there's so many different versions of what we want. There's like the version of you that's living somewhere that you don't live right now, doing something you might never do. And then there's 50 other versions of lives we fantasize about. But I think taking one step towards one facet of one of those imaginary, beautiful lives can bring you so much joy in your current one.

And so I didn't open up a bakery and I don't have the most well-known best-selling bakery in the world, but just by stopping selling my cookies and one decision to do it in a different way, opened up a whole new path that I didn't even know was possible. Okay.

Heather Mcginley (1:00:30)

You're making me

about there's a, there's something I read by Glennon Doyle once she was, her life was not going well. And she remembers she was sitting in a bathtub, I think by herself and she was just thinking and she was fantasizing about this other life. And she was like, you know, I could do this and I would go here and I would be with this person. I would do this and that. And then she kind of finished up by saying to herself, well, maybe in another life. And then she finished the essay with, isn't that funny?

Alex (1:00:36)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Heather Mcginley (1:00:55)

as if we have more than one. And it was very like, I remember that hit me like a ton of bricks. You'll only get one life as far as we know. Maybe we get more than one, but we don't know that. As far as we know, you only get one. To wrap us up here, Alex, when you think back to your younger self, what would you want to say to the younger Alex George?

Alex (1:00:57)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

off

first, my first thought is like, man, you don't even know what's coming. I wanna be like, ooh, buckle up, babe. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. But I think...

I think I would just impart more belief in myself. think back to, and again, getting diagnosed at 21, 22, it's so funny now as I enter into the thirties is like, gosh, I was such a baby. And so it's baby me was just being young and naive in a way that everybody should be when they're young. But I think I spent so much time worried about.

myself in terms of am I good enough at this job? Am I acceptable? Am I liked? Am I doing things the way they're supposed to be done? And I think something that this whole experience has given me is that it doesn't matter. Like at all. You know? So I'd probably tell her just believe in yourself a little bit more. And I really think that there's so much possibility when you're

confident in yourself and you feel like you don't have anything to lose. Just like take it a risk on yourself like you have nothing to lose because I think that fighting for your life at such a young age, it really shows you that you've already almost lost the biggest thing there is to lose. There's nothing bigger to lose than life itself. And so I would just say to be more confident.

and to take risks and believe in yourself. Because you're young, so you don't, but there's so much self-consciousness that young me had that I think older me just doesn't feel hindered by. You know, it's more of a, what? So what, you made a video and it was a little bit cringy and weird and people sent it. Maybe they sent it to each other, maybe they didn't. And so what, maybe nobody got that joke or you don't look the way you thought you would look at a certain age or your life doesn't look how you thought it was gonna look. It's kind of like...

none of the things you think mattered actually ever mattered. It just matters that you're happy and for me personally that I have family that I love and friends that I love and that's like full stop on everything that matters. That's kind of it.

Heather Mcginley (1:03:17)

Now, you know, the one common thread in all of these stories that we're talking about on this podcast overall, one thing I've noticed, because the stories are all very different, very, very different. But the thing that is the common thread that kind of knocks me over in my seat. These experiences have turned people into fearless, brave badasses. Like that's really the right word for it. I know it's kind of a like caustic word, but it's true. It is true. Like the...

Alex (1:03:26)

Mm-hmm.

Hmm... Hmm...

No. Yeah.

Heather Mcginley (1:03:46)

the challenges that have been overcome, it does change you. And someone else, Ashley DeSanto, who was on our premiere and she lost her father a couple years ago, she said, you know, after a bad thing happens, we put so much energy in trying to get back to where we were, how to get back to normal. And she was like, newsflash, you have changed, you have grown, these things change you, things are different now. And I think that is such a powerful, powerful lesson because...

Alex (1:04:00)

Hmm.

Yeah.

Heather Mcginley (1:04:10)

You know, like for you, like you said, those things you cared about before, and now you're like, that doesn't matter. What matters is being happy and doing the things I care about, being with the people I love. And that's what going through the trenches does to you. And it's just like, it's been so impressed on me, the badassery of the people that have been on this podcast sharing their stories. And it's overwhelming in a good way.

Alex (1:04:21)

Yeah.

I think you're right. I think there's so much of life that we get caught up in. And it's almost like it's a privilege within itself to be caught up in those things. Because like you said, when you're in the trenches and you're fighting through grief or you're fighting through this all encompassing darkness, those things, they don't matter at all. And then when you get through it, you realize they never did. But it's just the way life goes. And it's normal to be caught up in that sort of minutia.

Heather Mcginley (1:04:50)

Yeah.

Alex (1:04:58)

and to feel all of those things and self-conscious some days and worry about things that don't really matter. And I think that's part of being human too. But I think the undercurrent of going through something like this, and it sounds like a lot of your other guests too, is just you realize that the most important thing, and I think it probably varies based on what you've gone through, but for me, healthy and happy. Bottom line.

That's it and everything else I'll figure out and I'll probably fail again. I've definitely had some failures in the meantime of things I've tried that haven't gone well and they continue to. But that being the undercurrent is such a big change on me as a person. And like I said, I don't think that I would have been able to feel this way and feel the hope for it if I didn't hear from other people that they got through it and built something beautiful.

Because the amount of times you hear from people that are, was doing this and then this happened, I actually decided to uproot my whole life and do this. And you're just like, my gosh, that's crazy. And then you go through something, I get it now. I get how everything needs to change. It's sort of, it's just a life overhaul. And yeah, I'm very thankful for it because I don't know what version of me, like you said, if there is another timeline, if there is another life out there that I'm still living the life I was living before, I hope that she's happy. But I know in this version that I'm

which is the blessing within itself. So yeah.

Heather Mcginley (1:06:20)

for

sure. Well, Alex, thank you so much for being here today. I think this was a really powerful conversation and I am sad to say probably a lot of people can relate to your story in a lot of very personal ways. So thank you so much for being so open and vulnerable about that. Where can people find you if they want to work with you, if they want to hear more from you? And I imagine at one point by your cookbook.

Alex (1:06:40)

my gosh, you can find me on all social medias at Lily P. Crumbs, which I know is not my real name, but it's the name of what my business was when I was selling things. So it's L I L Y P. Crumbs. I'm on TikTok and Instagram and I blog and guess my cookbook will be coming out in 2026. So that's I guess coming up and all my recipes are free online if you ever want to go and try and make one. And I'm pretty responsive on comments. So if you make it and you like it, tell me.

And even if you don't, and we can work through it and find a way for you to like it. I had that happen and somebody said, I made this, but I didn't like it with pistachio. We worked through it. They're going to try it with hazelnut. So anyways, that's where you can find me. Yeah. And thank you Heather so much. a lot of tears, but I think these things you don't think about all the time and really sitting and thinking with it, a lot of those emotions come up. So thank you for being such a receptive person to all of those feelings.

Heather Mcginley (1:07:26)

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when there is a happy ending, which is always, you know, it doesn't always go that way, but today there is. I'm going to link all of the information that Alex just talked about, So you don't have to like scribble this down. I'll also put it in the show notes. You can directly link to it and find her. Next week, we're going to be talking to Clothilde Ewing, who is going to talk about how endings show up in our careers. Clo created a nonlinear career path for herself

working as an Oprah producer, then for the 2012 Obama campaign, and then now in community nonprofits. Finally, she has carved a new path for herself as a children's book author after reading a very particular New York Times piece. She has quite the story. I can't wait for you to hear it. I'm leaving on a cliffhanger, so you're have to listen next week to find out how all this fits together. And if you liked today's show, you can support us by leaving a like, rating, comment, wherever you're listening to this podcast, and subscribe so you don't miss a moment.

Thank you for listening today, especially for all of you that are on your own journey right now. We hope you have a great week.