I’ve been dating post-separation for almost a year now. Most [other] people date in their twenties like normal humans, but that was never me. I’ve never been a “dater.” I just fell in love. I’d meet someone I thought was great, then drop all the way into the deep end and date them for 3-12 years. No more, no less.

Now, I’m learning to date for the first time in my life, and apps are a big part of that. After going on what felt like a million dates, I can (un)scientifically say that there are 6 types of men you meet on Tinder - at least amongst the 37-46 cis-male crowd with whom I am accustomed.

• Type 1 - Dating for attention and validation

• Type 2 - Traumatized by a past relationship

• Type 3 - One-word answer guy

• Type 4 - Tenderoni’s

• Type 5 - “Hiring managers” interviewing for their next girlfriend or wife

• Type 6 - Fun and genuine (the holy grail and rarest of finds)

Almost all the men I’ve met are some combination of Type 1 and 2. And really, that was probably me too up until April of this year. Most people at my age are starting their “second act”, and we all picked up some baggage along the way. In an ideal world, we’re working on ourselves without mowing down all our dates as collateral damage. …Except that’s not what actually happens. I’ve definitely picked up and doled out a few heartbreaks along the way.

• The lawyer who asked me to go to Hawaii on our second date (but didn’t know my middle name.) Type 5

• The tennis player who was so great but we hit a wall and had to break up. It was an awesome relationship for where I was at - at the time. We made it to the other side as pals, and I’m thankful for that. Type 1, except it was me

• The designer who freaked out that he wasn’t my only interest before we’d even met. Type 4

• A million mediocre conversationalists. Type 3 x 1,000

• And then the two dates - the rare two - who were real, fun, open, and honestly pretty great - but I wasn’t ready for that yet. The elusive Type 6

For the most part, the past year has been mostly fun, and I’ve learned a lot. I can see myself in some of the yahoos I went out with, and now I’m trying to be better. Aiming for that Type 6 kinda life.