Hard Truths (and Uneducated Opinions)
Visual evidence
I wear this bracelet most days, as a reminder to (above all) tell myself the truth. I thought about getting a tattoo with this motto, but that’s a little too much commitment for this divorcée.
I’ve always been exceptionally candid and generally un-shamable, but the past 18 months have tested even me. A divorce and additional major family issues are a great way to shake your confidence. Even so, I’ve stepped out there and learned a few things that are DEFINITELY true, and many things that are MOSTLY true.
We can control our actions, but feelings often have a mind of their own.
Whatever scares you the most is definitely the thing you should try next.
Do what makes you happy, and leave the rest. Martyrdom is highly overrated.
Force of will doesn’t yield positive results when you are trying to make something work - that shouldn’t. Learn to let go.
People judge what they can’t understand.
Try anything. Most decisions are reversible.
The Right Thing and the Hard Thing are often the Same Thing.
These hard truths have pushed me to try new things, with surprisingly positive results, especially in the dating department.
I ran across someone who I was super interested in and sent a cold call message over social media to shoot my shot. I have never done that before. It didn’t lead to a date, but he’s a nice guy, and we had a funny exchange over it. He is… real cute. (Call me!)
I told someone I loved him knowing full well he doesn’t feel the same way - but it was freeing to be 100% honest without a lick of fear. Truth is powerful.
I said no to a kinda-dating situation that wasn’t going to make me happy because it was half-measures. I’ve recently gotten extremely crisp on what I want out of dating, and being resolute in saying no to anything that doesn’t fit has felt pretty great, even though it means I am now living that nun life.
Overall, the biggest truth I’ve learned to accept: people will treat you at the level you tolerate. If you love yourself, it becomes much easier to say “no” to situations that aren’t what you really want.
Second Biggest Truth: Taco Bell may be garbage but you haven’t lived unless you’ve gone through the drive-through for a post-dinner midnight snack. That’s high living.