When life goes sideways

Sometimes life gives you lemons. Other times it throws a boulder at you. I don’t like lemonade, and I’m terrible at rock climbing - so when my life blew up, I reacted poorly.

I used to have a lot of dreams for myself - to get married, to have kids, own a home, forge a career. By age 35, I’d done all those things. Then, I lost half of it.

It didn’t happen all at once. It happened little by little, day by day. Grains of sand fell through my fingers until I realized I was left holding so little of what I needed and wanted - and the people around me were suffering too.

So now, I’m starting over.

I don’t have a bucket list. There’s nothing I feel I’ve missed out on. There’s nothing I think I have to do. I’ve accomplished everything I convinced myself I had to check off that life list I wrote so long ago.

Now, there’s only a few things I’m aiming for: to be happy, peaceful, and whole. Let’s hope I don’t muck it up.